Remembering What Life is Supposed to Be About

One day a man came up to a priest and asked him, “Father, would you like to shake hands with a converted drunkard?” Naturally, the priest was happy to do so, and after they shook hands, the man told his story. “Father, years ago I had a good job, a nice home, and a loving family. But I was an alcoholic, and I couldn’t control my problem. I managed to keep my job, but because I drank away a lot of my paycheck, we had to move out of our nice home and into a crummy apartment; fortunately, my wife and my son continued to love me, even though I could see I was hurting them.”

“One afternoon the telephone rang in my office at work, and one of my neighbors said, “There’s been an accident. If you want to see your boy alive, you’d better hurry home.” I rushed home and discovered that my son—who was only eight years old—had been hit by a truck while trying to cross the street; it ran over his leg and crushed his hip. An ambulance was on the way, but I could see it was too late—he was dying. As I knelt beside him on the street, my son clutched my hand and whispered with his last breath, ‘Daddy, I won’t let you go until you promise to meet me in Heaven.’ With that, he died, and my wife had to help unclasp his fingers from mine—dead fingers, but loving fingers. Father, his fingers are still holding my hand, because from that day onward, I have not taken a single drink” (Msgr. Arthur Tonne, Stories for Sermons, Vol. 7, #44).

This story is a powerful affirmation of marriage and family life, and a reminder that sometimes it takes the perspective of a child to help us remember what life is supposed to be all about. God gives us to each other so that we might have an easier time giving ourselves to Him—and growing in His grace is the best way of honoring and serving those who are dear to us.

When I meet with engaged couples preparing for marriage, one of the questions I ask them is, “What will be your most important spiritual duty as husband and wife?” They usually answer something like, “To be faithful to each other, to be there for him, to be supportive of her,” and so on. Then I say, “Those are good answers, but not the answer the Church would give. The Church’s answer is simple: your most important spiritual duty as a husband and wife is to help your spouse reach Heaven.” This idea ties in very clearly with the Gospel of Mark (10:2-12). Quoting from the Book of Genesis (2:18-24), Jesus says that husband and wife are no longer two but one flesh, and then Our Lord teaches that because God has joined them together, no one must separate them. God allows married couples to be united to one another on earth so that they might also be united with Him for all eternity, and the same thing is true for children: parents must allow their little ones to come to Jesus by giving them, in the setting of a loving home, the spiritual, moral, and religious training that will help them hear and answer God’s call.