Perfecting the Mundane

I sometimes joke that I ran screaming from my parents’ house at 17. I’m joking, but only just. So, it has been a happy surprise that my children have continued to want to be close to Tom and me even into their 30s. A faith-filled, joyful family is a gift we should all seek to give our children. 

They are wonderful. There’s no downside to us all being best friends. They are also all still serious Catholics, so it is beneficial for us all to be able to support one another in our faith throughout our lives.  

One of the many things I have enjoyed about being Catholic is the opportunity to think about different aspects of my life through the lives of Our Lord, Our Lady, and the saints. Whether we are overjoyed, in pain, confused, or doing the wrong thing we have a person we can look to for guidance, companionship, or cheerleading.  

The cheerleading one sounds silly; I know. But sometimes when I am engaged in a particularly challenging mortification, even if it’s a tiny, stupid one but challenging for me, I imagine my patron saint of the year cheering me on to keep going. This year it’s Theresa of Avila, and she has been very helpful.  She always helps me keep going. My favorite quote to turn to when I need a cheerleader is, “When we accept what happens to us and make the best of it, we are praising God.” It helps me focus on what is important in any given situation that arises.

Sometimes I struggle to complete certain parts of my daily duties. When that happens, I picture Saint Monica, Our Lady, or some other holy friend who was a fellow homemaker with me. She keeps me company while I complete my tasks, encouraging me to sanctify everything. Quick prayers of intercession and Ignatius Loyola’s prayer for generosity are particularly helpful at these times when I really want to clean the bathroom again rather than wash the pile of dishes in the sink.

My older son, Floyd, joined the US Navy back when we lived in South Bend. He has been one of my favorite people since his birth, so I knew it would be very hard for me to be away from him. I listened to Amy Grant’s “Missing You” every day for weeks.  I sent it to him more than once. He would always write back, “Miss you, too, Mom.”

The first time he came back on leave was spectacular. It was such a happy time that I, of course, did not want it to end. After he was safely back on the Big Stick, I was sitting in Adoration one night and praying for him. I realized that feeling I had holding him when he came home must have been a pale version of what Our Lady felt at the Assumption. Certainly, she had been overjoyed to share the life of her baby in every stage of his life. Even in her sinlessness she would have missed him while they were apart and looked forward to being with him again. Every time I have hugged Floyd since then I think about that moment. Every time I pray the Glorious Mysteries, I remember that feeling. It’s a feeling I imagine we will share in our glorified bodies.

I have sometimes been irritable while driving, so it is helpful for me to have a rosary hanging from my rear-view mirror, and many Catholic stickers on my car. These items assist me in having a correct focus behind the wheel.  If I am inclined toward irritability or aggression I need only glance around me to see reminders of why I should be meek and gracious, regardless of anyone else’s behavior.

Recently my oldest grandson, Joseph, went to the dentist for the first time. He is newly four, and he was not excited about the experience. I told him that when I have those kinds of stressful things to do, I ask my guardian angel to sit with me and help me stay calm and focused. Our guardian angels, in fact, seem quite ready to assist us in all situations.

Pope Benedict XVI once said that the west was failing because people are no longer willing to live quiet lives of daily virtue. Our entertainment certainly encourages this lack of willingness to embrace the small, daily tasks that life requires. If I can’t achieve an emotional payoff every hour, fill my days with thrills, and star in my own victory dance party every night, then what am I really doing with my life?

But life isn’t the dance party at the end, until we meet Jesus at our true end. Life is more like the training montage, but with the training having to take place outside the montage. If we treat the small, mundane things like an inconvenience rather than a sanctification and opportunity for hope, we miss a foundationally important part of what makes life beautiful.