Encountering the Other, Part 3

A man is walking in a public park and he encounters a transgender woman who is actually a man with a dog.  

Man: “What a beautiful dog! Can I pet him?” (the man gets on his knees and shows gentleness to break the ice).

Transgender woman: “Sure, go ahead.”

Man: (Man pets dog while kneeling). “How old is your dog and what kind is he?”

[The man’s posture of kneeling shows that he is wanting to be friendly and serve].

Transgender woman: “He is 4 years old and a pure bred Golden Retriever.”

Man: “I bet this dog makes a really good companion.”

Transgender Woman: “Yes, that is exactly why I chose him, and I always wanted a Golden Retriever since I was a boy.”

[The man realizes that the transgender woman feels comfortable in his presence because “she” just referred to “her” true identity as a male rather than her apparent identity as a “female”].

Man: “Oh, did you have a Golden Retriever as a boy?”

Transgender Woman: “No, my mother never let me have one.  She was super strict, and I was not able to experience many things.”  

Man: “I am sorry to hear that. It sounds like you had a rough childhood.”

[The man shows empathy so that the transgender woman is free to open up more].

Transgender woman: “My childhood was pretty tough. My father was not in the picture, but there were a lot of abusive boyfriends. I wish my childhood was different, but I was just a boy. Now I decide who I am.”  (Transgender woman bends down and hugs the dog).

[At this point, the transgender woman has made a bold statement that is at the root of his identity crisis: “Now I decide who I am.”  In reality, only God can give a person their true identity].

Man: “I am so sorry.  So you felt a loss of control over your life and a sense of neglect?”

Transgender Woman: “Yes, which is why I am determined to remain in control of my life and decide my identity going forward. When I was a boy, everyone told me how to feel and to be a man, but never explained what that meant. But now, I get to be who I really want to be.”

Man: “Do you feel good about who you are?”

Transgender Woman: “I am really proud of my transformation.”

Man: “Really, I noticed that you referred to yourself as a boy.  I am really interested in hearing more about your experience. I do not know a lot about the transition process. Do you still feel a masculine sensibility?”

Transgender Woman: “Well, I am very proud of my transformation because I am who I want to be, but there are moments when I remember what it felt like to be a boy.”

Man: “I can appreciate how hard it must be for you. I can kind of relate to what you are saying because I also struggled with my identity, which included what it meant to be a man. For me, I thought being a man was being strong and athletic, being successful, and building my physique. So I was trying to define myself as a man, but I was missing something. I knew there was something deeper that my heart desired, beyond what the world and stereotypes told me. But I did not know what I was missing.”

[The man is sympathetic but not condoning sin].

Transgender woman: “I think we understand each other. We have different experiences, but we both struggled with similar things.”

Man: “Can I share with you what changed my life and gave me my true identity?”

Transgender woman: “Yes, please do.”

[At this point, the man is now able to give his testimony freely of how Christ changed his life. The transgender woman is open and receptive. The man should share his testimony in a manner most likely to benefit the transgender woman. The evangelist can share their personal testimony as it will have greater resonance because they experienced it].

Man: “I reached the end of my rope. I was depressed, anxious, and suicidal. I found no meaning or purpose in my life. The only satisfaction I could find was in things that had no lasting significance. I drank and entertained myself, but no matter what I did, I always ended up back in the same place and sometimes worse. Then I cried out and, without being entirely sure that God exists, I asked Him if He was real and to reveal Himself and fix my life. The only thing I can tell you is that the very next day, Jesus spoke to my heart and touched my spirit in a powerful way that I cannot explain in words, but it was amazingly real. I can never again doubt His love for me, His presence with me, and His desire to fulfill the desires of my heart. Do you believe me?”

Transgender Woman: “I do believe you; I wish I could have a similar experience.”

[At this point, the man is able to make a direct invitation to follow Jesus].

Man: “You can. Would you be willing to allow me to say a brief prayer over you in the name of Jesus for God to come into your life, give you your true identity, and reveal His love to you?”

Transgender Woman: “Sure, I think I already know my identity, but I would love greater meaning in my life.”

Man: “By the way, what is your name?”

[The man asks the name of the transgender woman so that he can avoid the whole problem of pronouns and because it is more personal]

Transgender Woman: “Joan”

Man: “My name is Phillip. (Leads the following prayer) Lord Jesus, I thank you for Joan who was created by you in love, in your image and likeness. Please reveal Your presence and love to this child whom You invite to follow You, know Your love, and receive the vocation which flows from your Divine Heart of Love. May Joan experience the identity, purpose, and love that only You can provide.”

Transgender Woman: “Thank you.  

Man: “How do you feel right now?”

Transgender woman: “Peaceful and loved.”

Man: “Can I get your number to text you right now in case you want to talk or text or you have questions or you need prayer for anything at all?”

Transgender Woman: “Yes please.”