In the Company of à Kempis

My mother, both of her sisters, and their mother all had breast cancer. My Aunt Emma Jean is the only one still living. I have tried to be mindful of my health but have often not done a particularly good job.

So, I was not entirely surprised when “a mass” was found during my last mammogram a week ago. They scheduled a follow-up mammogram, an ultrasound, and a biopsy. While waiting for my biopsy appointment, I got out my pocket guide to holiness- Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. As always, many things popped up during my reading that are and are always relevant.

How happy and wise are those who try now to become what they would want to be at the house of death. (30)

I often re-read this little book and just as often open it to random pages while I’m waiting or in Adoration. This simple statement caught my attention as never before. Yes, sure, when I’m facing my particular judgement, I will wish I had become a saint. But what if that time is much sooner than I had thought? It’s always best to begin now. Now is the only moment I have to begin, yet often I convince myself that tomorrow I will be saintlier and better able to mortify myself.

Strangely enough I have found it a little easier to fast this last week than I had previously. Lest I begin to think that I am becoming saintlier, I know that it is actually that I am learning every day how to rely more on God’s strength and less on Jennifer’s. I’m a mess. He’s perfect. I should definitely rely on him and not on me. Like the children’s song I sing to my grandchildren when I’m blessed to tuck them in, “They are weak, but He is strong.” Indeed.

We know from experience when we talk too long. It is easier to remain silent than not to say too much when we speak. (26)

I’ve been focused a great deal recently on gossip. I do not think of myself as a gossipy person, or someone even attracted to that sin. Yet in the era of social media, gossip is pushing into our lives nonstop. I am often tempted to reply to things online. I’m often tempted to reply at length to things online. I make the mistake of thinking that if only people understood they would turn from their celebration of evil. Perhaps. But the information is just as available to them as it has been to me throughout my adult life. I don’t mean that I should never offer fraternal correction, even online, but that I must be prudent about it rather than eager.

There are parts of Imitation that speak in Christ’s voice.  

Christ: Always seek the lowest place and desire to be subject to all. Always wish for and pray that the will of God be accomplished in you. (77)

When I read this couplet for the first time several years ago it struck me that these two sentences were together. Seek the lowliest place. Pray that the will of God is accomplished in you. It might not seem obvious at first, but I have come to believe that these are together because accomplishing God’s work in me requires that I take the lowest place. If I am all about seeing Jennifer honored in the world, I am doing the opposite of God’s will. I am forwarding my agenda. When I realize that the work I do with my writing, the administrative and research work I do for Southwell Media, and the assistance I provide my family members are all in His service rather than just fun stuff I do for me – and it’s all fun stuff – it refocuses all my energy. I am at peace with whatever outcome He has in mind for these activities. I try to work like it’s all on me and pray like it’s all on God.  

Christ: As long as you live you will always need spiritual weapons. If you do not make use of the shield of patience on all occasions, it is certain you will be wounded before long. (89)

I come back to this often, as I believe that the shield of patience is completely underused in 2026. Too many of us are seduced by convenience and realize too late that it is the exception that life functions correctly the first time. Communication is an error-intensive activity, and we must be mindful that we ought to listen to understand rather than simply to argue to the contrary. Misunderstandings are all too easy.

It’s helpful to go to the first and last thoughts of such a powerful book to see where the writer has us begin and end. The final meditation is this:

All reason and natural inquiry must follow faith, never precede or question it. For in this Holy Sacrament, faith and love are uppermost and work in hidden ways. If God’s words could be understood easily by human reason, they would not be considered wonderful and beyond human expression. (151)

In our immature age we see people who want intellect and reason to be the sole end of man’s existence. We also see those who are all about emotions. Yet, without faith and love, what are reason and emotions? They are chains. Only God can give us the hope, charity, and faith that we need to live a good life.

I thought about waiting to write this until I had an answer to the question. But at the end of the day, it is not that important whether I have cancer or not. The important thing is that we are all loving, obeying, and worshipping God each moment of each day, and growing in that love and worship. I am at peace. I pray you are, too.