Our Thorns

One of the keys to a happier, fuller life is learning how to live with the “thorn in your flesh,” for we all have at least one. Frankly, as a psychotherapist I have found we all carry many. It has astonished me precisely how many some carry and how big some are. Some carry them well and others not. In 2 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul explains he was given one that kept him from being arrogant and relying too much on himself (v. 7). Ironically, he goes on to explain that it was when he is weak that he was strong (v. 10). The Apostle to the Gentiles reveals a way to conceptualize thorns that we all have, namely those struggles, hardships and pain, often physical pain, which sometimes one must contend with an entire lifetime. Paul makes known these thorns are counterintuitively for our good, for they keep our focus on God and connect us to our true source of strength. It is our thorns, our pains and weaknesses, which enable us to find our true strength because a thorn makes us turn to our one and only true source of real strength – God. In essence, our gaze changes from a horizontal one, to a vertical one. 

Regarding his specific thorn, Paul writes,

God can certainly take our thorns away, as he could have Paul’s, and often, does so in our own lives, because “for God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). However, there are times when God does not, for our thorns serve a bigger purpose. In fact, most mystics go a step further and ask God to increase their suffering and pain. Whether the thorn remains to enact God’s purpose that better serves us, or one day God takes the thorn away, we can have the assurance “that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Though we do not know exactly what Paul’s thorn was, his struggle displays an instance in which God did not answer prayer; thus, it served a bigger purpose. Sometimes an individual’s trials in this life are so horrendous they leave one bedridden or in a wheelchair. Ironically, this frees one up for the most important thing one can do in this life: it affords one the opportunity and time to pray for others. Hence, one is always useful in this life and valuable, for we are all children of God created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). 

Counterintuitively, and as difficult as a concept as it is to grasp, St. Francis de Sales wrote that God creates and tailors special crosses for each of us in this life, ones uniquely created to help mold, refine and allow us to learn what it is one needs to learn in this life. Granted, undoubtedly, virtually all of us would say “no thank you” to the specific crosses we receive from above, ones that the saint contended are ultimately gifts and blessings for our souls. When this life is over, if not already during this life, one will see how the unique cross or thorn one has helped one learn and mold our souls. We will then be happy we ran the race, so to speak. It goes without saying that this theology addressing in part the theological concept of theodicy (justification of a deity’s goodness considering all the pain and suffering in the world) does not cohere with the “prosperity gospel” or the “health and wealth gospel” preached every Sunday, especially on the airwaves often emanating from megachurches. The “prosperity gospel” is a distortion of the biblical witness and simply is not biblical (cf. Exodus 7:13, 9:12; Isaiah 45:7). It is the case that how a person responds to whatever their thorn(s) may be determines the tone of one’s life. The more we can embrace them and make peace with them rather than struggling against them and denying their existence, the better off we will be. It can be the difference between a life colored by depression and anxiety or one of more peace and happiness. Interestingly, faith can be a component of; a choice must be made in regard to our posture towards our thorns. We either embrace them or fight against them, the latter making life exceedingly harder. Regardless, as much as they hurt and prick us, in the end thorns serve a bigger purpose. 

Nature reveals to us that though there is night, just as we often find ourselves in dark times, it always gives way to the dawn or day, as our personal dark times too give way to brighter, better times and days. Thus, our desert experiences often serve as catalysts for deep transformations and healings, as they did for the Apostle Paul and even Jesus, as He battled Satan in the wilderness for forty days. It is also the case that learning mostly occurs from hardship, pain, suffering and illness. Catholic tradition beautifully teaches that we should offer our suffering up to God and thus our sufferings are not in vain but serve a bigger, higher purpose (Colossians 1:24). Oftentimes our suffering can indeed bless others. Therefore, counterintuitively, our suffering and thorns are to be embraced for the blessing they bring, as hard as a concept as that is, for we learn from them, our souls mature and are edified because of them, and we might be released of inordinate attachments because of them or do penance via them. Others might be helped through them as well. The thorns thus serve a higher purpose we will no doubt not fully know or grasp this side of heaven. 

In one of his weekly emails, Father Ron Rolheiser articulated the problem is not that suffering comes but rather if suffering never comes. Richard Rohr argues that our problems arise when we fight against the natural sufferings of life (Falling upward: A spirituality for the two halves of life, San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2011, 73). Suffering, desert experiences and thorns are to be embraced and not thought of as an aberration, for in the end they ironically and counterintuitively bless us and others. We will one day know fully and understand the reasons for their presence in our lives, for now we see only dimly or partially but will one day know fully (1 Corinthians 13:12) and then understand why the thorns came and what the thorns taught us. We will likely also see what they taught others, especially our loved ones, for in the end we are all one as Christ (Galatians 3:28). Thus, our thorns are to be welcomed and embraced for the blessing they will ultimately bring, no matter how rough and gut-wrenching they seemingly are at present. The good news is that all of humanity has the promise and assurance that one day they will be vanquished and the thorn in your flesh will be take away for all of eternity (cf. Revelation 21:4; Isaiah 25:8).